Pairing: Hankyung/Kibum, tiny bit of Kyuhyun/Sungmin, Siwon/Heechul
Summary: Kibum is sick of everyone telling him. That he is a terrible boyfriend to Hankyung.
Disclaimer: I don’t own them.
Warning-Unbetad, but I used Microsoft Word’s check
“Bloody hell Kibum, you have to be the worst boyfriend ever. Last night, Hannie spend hours cooking supper for you. And then he waited hours for you to come home. Hannie even fell fast asleep at the kitchen table. And you didn’t even called Hannie last night. To say that you would be late. Wow what a fucking terrible boyfriend you are” Heechul yelled.
“Yes, you’re the fucking worst boyfriend ever. Hannie is such a sweet loving boyfriend. Hannie is always trying his hardest to make you happy. However you are always breaking promises to him. Or flirting with other girls in front of him” Sungmin added.
“But last night I tried calling the apartment a million times. Since the stupid actress I’m working with. She has a really hard time, fucking remembering one damn line. So shooting for the scene went really late. And when the hell have I ever flirted with other girls?” Kibum asked.
“Two days ago, when we went shopping. You were flirting with almost every girl in the mall” Siwon answered.
“Siwon just shut the hell up” Kibum yelled.
“Hey no one yells at my boyfriend but me. But my absolutely perfect boyfriend is one hundred percent right. You were flirting with every single girl in the mall” Heechul screamed.
“I only talk to one girl during that shopping trip. It was the salesgirl who I did talk to. And there was no way, that I was flirting with her” Kibum argued.
“But the girl did slap your ass. So you were so flirting with that girl” Sungmin added.
“And that why I was talking to her. To tell her, that she did that again. Then I would get her fired” Kibum yelled.
“I disagree with all of you. Kibum is a good boyfriend for Hannie. Since A Hannie loves Kibum. And B Kibum loves Hannie too. So sometime things just fucking suck. And also last night Kangin was talking on the phone to Eeteuk for hours. Also Donghae stole Hannie’s cell phone last night. So that why Kibum couldn’t tell Hannie. That he wouldn’t be able to make it home until really late” Kyuhyun said.
“Kyuhyun, if you know what’s good for you. Then you’ll shut the fuck up. Or you’ll be sleeping on the couch for a damn year. So just agree with us, that Kibum is a horrible boyfriend” Sungmin yelled.
“Sungmin, I fucking love you. But Kibum isn’t a bad boyfriend at all. And also Sungmin, I like to see you go a whole hour not touching me. If you can do that, then maybe I’ll believe your silly threat” Kyuhyun answered.
“Kyuhyun and Sungmin, both of you two. Just be quiet, so I can scream at Kibum. But you Kibum are going to boyfriend school” Heechul said.
“I’m going to what?” Kibum yelled.
“Oh that is perfect for Kibum. Since for some weird reason, Hannie does love Kibum. So boyfriend school is the perfect solution” Sungmin added.
“This is absolutely fucking crazy and really stupid. There are always ups and downs in any relationship. Like right now in Sungmin and my relationship. At this very second I would love to kill Sungmin. So Kibum, let’s go play some video games” Kyuhyun replied.
“Umm Kyuhyun, I do agree with you. But who knows, maybe they can help me be a better boyfriend. I love Hannie more than fucking anything. So I’ll try anything to make him happy. But fucking hell, I didn’t flirted with any girl” Kibum said.
“Maybe you should go to boyfriend school too” Sungmin added.
“Kibum you do what will make you happy. And Sungmin go to fucking hell, and enjoy sleeping in a cold bed alone” Kyuhyun yelled, before storming out of the room.
“Well I’ll deal with Kyuhyun, that silly bunny. But it’s time for boyfriend school” Sungmin squealed.
“Sungmin, Kyuhyun seems to be really mad at you. Maybe you should go have a talk with him?” Kibum asked.
“Nah, I’ll just give a blow job or two before bed. Then everything will be right as rain with Kyuhyun” Sungmin answered.
“Enough talking, we need to teach Kibum to be a good boyfriend” Heechul yelled.
“Well since Sungmin is such an amazing boyfriend. Then maybe I should just follow his example. And go offer Hannie a blow job to make up for last night” Kibum said.
“No no no, that would be so wrong. Sex and sexual favours can’t fix everything” Siwon replied.
“Why the fuck not, it works for you and me. Every single time, when you’re in trouble with Heechul. There are always loudest moans and screams from your room.” Sungmin argued.
“That is fucking enough from everyone. Yes usually sex will fix anything in a relationship. However with Hannie, we have decided. That Hannie deserves the very best in life. So we will not teach Kibum how to give a bloody fucking amazing blow job. And also Siwon for fighting with me, you better not have any plans for the next twenty-four hours. Except to be in our bed for next twenty four hours. Also make sure, you have plenty of liquids” Heechul said.
“Just so you all know. I can give a fucking amazing blow job. Probably a million times better than any of you guys” Kibum replied.
“Okay that’s enough talking about sex” Siwon screamed.
“Well my wonderful sexy boyfriend is somewhat right. We really need to start teaching Kibum to be an amazing boyfriend. But sex is best thing in the world” Heechul said.
“Yes please will this class begin now? Since I would like to spend some time with Hannie today” Kibum said.
“Okay, so Kibum welcome to Heechul and Sungmin School of how to be fucking amazing boyfriend. So your first lesson of the day is. That you never flirt with any girls at all. And yes that does included your Mommy too. So you’re only allowed to flirt with Hannie” Sungmin said.
“Fucking hell, I didn’t flirt with any other girls. And why the fucking hell would I be flirting with my Mom?” Kibum asked.
“Kibum just shut up. So we can move on to the second lesson. Which is, that you aren’t allowed to touch anyone but Hannie. And yes Kibum, that does included hugs” Heechul answered.
“Fuck, this is really stupid. What fucking hell was I thinking” Kibum question.
“Kibum just shut up and listen. Especially since Sungmin and Heechul are trying to help you” Siwon yelled.
“Yes they’re trying to make my life a living hell hole” Kibum replied.
“Kibum, just listen to us. Since we’re fucking amazing people. So the next lesson on how to be a better boyfriend to Hannie. Is to never ever leave his side. You’re to be with him, twenty four seven” Heechul answered.
“What the hell is going on? You’re making Kibum go to boyfriend school. And I thought that Kyuhyun was joking around. And also Sungmin, Kyuhyun is really pissed off with you. I’m pretty sure, that it’s going to take at least two blow job. To make it up to Kyuhyun” Hankyung said.
“Yes, your terrible boyfriend needs help to be better boyfriend. And as your best friend, I need to make sure. That your boyfriend is treating you right” Heechul answered.
“Yes Hannie, we’re just trying to help you. Especially after last night date with Kibum. You fell asleep at the kitchen table” Sungmin added.
“Well maybe if some people could be quiet at night-time. Then I could actually sleep in my bedroom. And Kyuhyun and Sungmin were making out on the couch. So maybe if people could keep their moans down. Then I wouldn’t be sleeping at the kitchen table. Also I knew that Kibum would probably be late last night. Since with that actress, he’s working with. She has a hard time remember one line. So they’re always re-shooting the scenes over and over again. And Kibum is a fucking amazing boyfriend. I wouldn’t change a thing about him at all.” Hankyung said.
“So I don’t need to spend any more time with the crazy people?” Kibum asked.
“Yes Kibum, how about we watch a movie or something. Also Sungmin go make things right with Kyuhyun. Also Siwon and Heechul just go away. And Sungmin and Heechul stay the hell away from my boyfriend. However thanks for being good friend to me” Hankyung answered.
“Fine, if you’re happy Hannie. Then I’m off to make it up to Kyuhyun. Wow it’s going to be a really long night. I better grab a few bottles of water. Then I’ll go find Kyuhyun” Sungmin replied, before skipping out of the room.
“Fine but if Kibum is ever a crappy boyfriend. Then I get the right to kill him. Well actually Siwon will kill Kibum for me” Heechul added.
“Umm, Kibum and Hannie just be happy together. And I’ll keep Heechul really busy tonight. So have a nice romantic night together” Siwon said, as he dragged Heechul out of the room.
“Yay finally some peace and quiet. I love Siwon, Sungmin and Heechul like brothers. But sometimes I would love to kill them. I can’t believe they were trying to teach you. How to be a better boyfriend for me. Especially since you’re the world best boyfriend” Hankyung said.
“I just want to make you happy. So I’m will to do anything for you. But how about we watches a movie and cuddle together” Kibum answered.
“How about instead, I’ll give my sweet boyfriend a backrub. Then we’ll cuddle together for a while. But of course later tonight, we’ll give the other couples. A race for their money in the loudness factor. As Sungmin would probably put it, I miss our sexy time” Hankyung said.
“Sounds like a brilliant plan to me. But I think that I have the best boyfriend in the world” Kibum answered.